Category Archives: Speech

Reviewing ourselves

In the monastic community, giving and accepting criticism of each others’ behavior is a standard part of the training. In lay life we tend not to welcome any indication that we or our views are not perfect. However, we rarely … Continue reading

Posted in Anger, Causes and results, Dukkha, Friendships, Patience, Relationships, Speech | 4 Comments

Blanket apologies

Apologizing and accepting apologies is an essential activity within communities if they are to be harmonious, yet it is often hard to find the best way to handle the process. If we’ve hurt someone and know it, we can apologize … Continue reading

Posted in Compassion, Friendships, Relationships, Speech | 1 Comment

A good visitor

In this surprising (to me) sutta, the Buddha gives his monks and nuns specific “do”s and “don’t”s for visiting with lay families. Normally monastics would visit laypeople either to receive a meal or to tend to someone’s needs, physical or … Continue reading

Posted in Friendships, General, Relationships, Speech | 2 Comments

Fair share

When we live with other people, it is common for us to feel we are doing more than our fair share of the communal duties, i.e., keeping common areas clean, shopping, yard maintenance, cooking, dishes, etc. This can be true … Continue reading

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Showing we care

Giving, endearing speech, beneficent conduct, and impartiality under diverse worldly conditions, as is suitable to fit each case: these means of embracing others are like the linchpin of a rolling chariot. – – from AN 4:32, translated by Bhikkhu Bodhi … Continue reading

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Speaking well

From MN 58, translated by Andrew Olendzki: Such speech one knows to be untrue, incorrect, and unbeneficial, and which is unwelcome and disagreeable to others —such speech one does not utter. Such speech one knows to be true and correct, … Continue reading

Posted in Mindfulness, Precepts, Speech | Leave a comment

The right words to the right person

Monks, a talk is wrongly addressed when, having weighed one type of person against another, it is addressed to these five [inappropriate] types of persons. A talk on faith is wrongly addressed to one devoid of faith; a talk on … Continue reading

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