Category Archives: Friendships

Tis the season

It hasn’t escaped my notice that the end of the calendar year is upon us. In most cultures, it’s a time of renewal, of celebration, of gathering, and of joy. How we perceive the activities of the season will vary … Continue reading

Posted in Causes and results, Compassion, Friendships, General, Generosity, Mindfulness, Precepts, Relationships, Speech, Sublime states | 4 Comments

Speech that has value

The last of four sub-types of right or skilful speech (after truthful, harmonious, and gentle speech) is refraining from empty chatter; not gossiping or blathering just to fill a silence. Useless speech could be defined as words that cloud rather … Continue reading

Posted in Causes and results, Friendships, Relationships, Speech | 2 Comments

Divisive or harmonious speech?

A second category of Right Speech (after truthfulness) is harmonious speech, or refraining from saying things with the intention of dividing people or groups from each other. It is a challenging moment in history, in many places, to hold to … Continue reading

Posted in Causes and results, Friendships, Precepts, Speech, The 8-fold path | 5 Comments

It’s not about you (me)

Still on the subject of muditā, what gets in the way of sympathetic joy? The biggest obstacle is our tendency to measure ourselves against others, often in superficial ways. If we judge others harshly, it is quite likely that we are … Continue reading

Posted in Causes and results, Friendships, General, Relationships, Sublime states | 2 Comments

Discovering joy

For some of us, the idea of celebrating others’ successes and happiness seems anti-intuitive. We have a hard time imagining not reacting with jealousy or envy, or otherwise comparing ourselves to others. But we do it all the time; joy … Continue reading

Posted in Causes and results, Friendships, General, Generosity, Sublime states | 1 Comment

The opposite of joy

The third of the sublime states is sympathetic or appreciative joy (in Pali, muditā). It’s a particular form of happiness that comes when we celebrate someone else’s good fortune. When someone we care about finds a happy relationship or a promising … Continue reading

Posted in Causes and results, Friendships, General, Sublime states | 1 Comment

Knowing ourselves through others

17th century author Francois de la Rochefoucauld once wrote “We forget our faults easily when they are known only to ourselves”. This quote became the title of a blog post by Bodhipaksa on his website, Wildmind Buddhist Meditation, part of which … Continue reading

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