Category Archives: Friendships

It’s not about you (me)

Still on the subject of muditā, what gets in the way of sympathetic joy? The biggest obstacle is our tendency to measure ourselves against others, often in superficial ways. If we judge others harshly, it is quite likely that we are … Continue reading

Posted in Causes and results, Friendships, General, Relationships, Sublime states | 2 Comments

Discovering joy

For some of us, the idea of celebrating others’ successes and happiness seems anti-intuitive. We have a hard time imagining not reacting with jealousy or envy, or otherwise comparing ourselves to others. But we do it all the time; joy … Continue reading

Posted in Causes and results, Friendships, General, Generosity, Sublime states | 1 Comment

The opposite of joy

The third of the sublime states is sympathetic or appreciative joy (in Pali, muditā). It’s a particular form of happiness that comes when we celebrate someone else’s good fortune. When someone we care about finds a happy relationship or a promising … Continue reading

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Knowing ourselves through others

17th century author Francois de la Rochefoucauld once wrote “We forget our faults easily when they are known only to ourselves”. This quote became the title of a blog post by Bodhipaksa on his website, Wildmind Buddhist Meditation, part of which … Continue reading

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Our actions make us

One is not a brahmin by birth, nor by birth a non-brahmin. By action one becomes a brahmin, by action one becomes a non-brahmin. One becomes a farmer by action, by action one becomes a craftsman. One becomes a merchant … Continue reading

Posted in Causes and results, Friendships, Precepts, Relationships | 1 Comment

Our most valuable relationships

We come now to the last of the six relationships described in the Sigalovada sutta, our moral leaders and teachers, those who inspire us. There are five ways in which a man should minister to ascetics and brahmins as the … Continue reading

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Friends and companions

The fourth direction on the compass in DN31 (here translated by Bhikku Bodhi) is the north and is described as relationships with friends and companions. These can be the most consequential relationships we have, and if we’re lucky the category … Continue reading

Posted in Causes and results, Friendships, General, Relationships | 2 Comments