Category Archives: Friendships

Our actions make us

One is not a brahmin by birth, nor by birth a non-brahmin. By action one becomes a brahmin, by action one becomes a non-brahmin. One becomes a farmer by action, by action one becomes a craftsman. One becomes a merchant … Continue reading

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Our most valuable relationships

We come now to the last of the six relationships described in the Sigalovada sutta, our moral leaders and teachers, those who inspire us. There are five ways in which a man should minister to ascetics and brahmins as the … Continue reading

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Friends and companions

The fourth direction on the compass in DN31 (here translated by Bhikku Bodhi) is the north and is described as relationships with friends and companions. These can be the most consequential relationships we have, and if we’re lucky the category … Continue reading

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Our teachers

Continuing our exploration of the Sigalovada Sutta, we come to the “southern direction”, which is next after east if we move in a clockwise direction. After our parents, usually the next significant relationships are with our teachers. Throughout our lives, … Continue reading

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Our relationships

Following along in Bhikkhu Bodhi’s book, The Buddha’s Teachings on Social and Communal Harmony, we move our focus now from intentional communities to “natural” communities. These start with family and extend outward to all the other relationships in our lives. … Continue reading

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Reviewing ourselves

In the monastic community, giving and accepting criticism of each others’ behavior is a standard part of the training. In lay life we tend not to welcome any indication that we or our views are not perfect. However, we rarely … Continue reading

Posted in Anger, Causes and results, Dukkha, Friendships, Patience, Relationships, Speech | 4 Comments

Blanket apologies

Apologizing and accepting apologies is an essential activity within communities if they are to be harmonious, yet it is often hard to find the best way to handle the process. If we’ve hurt someone and know it, we can apologize … Continue reading

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