I undertake the training rule to refrain from harsh speech.
[Friends, I will be going on retreat tomorrow and so not be posting for two weeks. More when I return.]
I come back frequently to the example of my mother-in-law. She seemed to pour forth love under all conditions. I was lucky enough to know her for about seventeen years before she died, so I saw her in all kinds of situations. Even when she was upset, only love came from her. As far as I could tell (and no stories about her contradict this), if she was awake, her intention was to love.
So, as a consequence, I never heard her utter a harsh word. When I think of her, I remember my own intention to live in and from love, and to accept others just as they are. Whatever words I speak are a result of the intention I hold at the time. When there are rough words, there are rough feelings, and I can work on the words and the feelings at the same time.